Musings. Nothing to do with my Making! oops

Where does the time go?
I cannot believe that the last month has flown by so fast!.
Agreed I am now out at work 2 days a week, and still have to deal with all the usual trials and tribulations from the family.
This month has been taken up with dealing with Twin2. She has a lot of problems with her Rent, benefits and this new Council Tax, or Bedroom Tax has made things even worse for her.
I have resigned myself to having to pay the difference, to stop her from having her House repossessed.
The problem with sorting out all her problems is that they are now my problems, and I thought that that was why I had a carer for her in the first place.
I need to become better at selling my things, as I am going to have do up my income as much as I can. Time is running out for me to get my finances in order. I loose my Guardian Ship funding in March 2014. This is some £119.49 a week. So I had hoped by now that I would have reduced my budget expenditure, not taken on more. The original idea was to have saved this years funding. But as fast as I have tried to save the funds, its had to go out again.
Why is it the more I know I need to save, the more I seem to have lost control of my spending?
So I need to drawer myself up to my full height, get a back bone, and get stuck in to working it all out.
FAST.
Instead, I am like a Bunny in the Headlights, and I am not getting on with anything. All the I know I should, isn't actually becoming I am doing?
Why am I my own worst enemy?

There are so many things that need to change, and I don't know where to start?
Upping my income, needs to be worked out, along with the fact that as it goes up; the Tax Credits will go down. So I will not be much better off, but will be the one earning it instead. Which is much more to the Work ethic I was brought up to believe.
(I wish that my children would believe the same. Only Biggest of Mooloo seems to have that trait.).

(oops its side ways!)

Two weeks ago, I did a Craft Stall, but alas I didn't make any money as such. I sold £18 worth of things, but the table cost me £10 and keeping DGD entertained cost me some £18 as well. Not to mention the cost of my materials or my time in it all.

(No matter what I did turning it around when I have linked it, its right back on its side.! ) Oh to be technically minded.

 

I have been told not to give up hope and to take courage, but Its so soul destroying.
Most of you will know where I am with that one, from one stage or another.

Feeling so despondent, at the moment.
I have been reading Elaine Colliers' Mortgage Free in Three blog, I get the feeds, and she is so on the ball. Me I just am in Awe.
So if I know all these things, why am I still sitting here worried to death about the future?
Why am I unable to kick start my self anymore?

Sorry this is not about my Making at all. Just a sound off on my blog really.
While I have been uploading my photos from my iphone, onto my laptop, and the dinner is cooking.

DS is actually doing some work for the Pub he does a shift in, to Pay off his Bar Tab would you believe. Makes me so cross. Meanwhile I am spreading my money on his and his sisters bills!.
Argggghhhhh
Moan over for now.